To a Distant Lover...

To a distant lover (who may or may not exist)-

Tonight, I’m thinking of you
Although you don’t want it
I am staring at the lights in the ceiling
And thinking of stars, and of you
Sighing your name in my heart
Whose face I won’t say it to again
Tonight, you are my dearest ghost
My most-beloved shadow
Who has long since outgrown the outlines
Of what I can conjure
I am calling a name you don’t answer to
You who will not come, anyway
I am sighing for the you, you are no longer
And for we who also are not any more
I mourn also for myself, who is now
Unmoored from you—
And also for my own old shadow.