if a god of war knows my name
he says take yourself off the rolls
I looked up at the whiteboard in the office
and felt that something was laughing
a laughing god,
I chose to make,
and I see a dog before me,
but I hate them,
no slaves, dogs are slaves
they serve,
they serve or they scream,
and when I made shapes
on my computer,
I wept.
and I carried myself all across the
desert, to return to it,
so, I carry it with me, and I drop
the desert, because it
can no longer be the desert to me.
and I see the dog behind my eyes,
when I say I can see it clearly.
the haze is everywhere, but I go through it
mocking everything I believe,
but I hear someone say Ramadan prayers in the
room across the hall,
and I hear someone mock my great-grandfather's religion,
but what was important was his gun then,
and he would tell me to leave, and to leave him behind
as well, to avoid what he fought.
because I said no 10,000 times,
and all it bought me was the window,
and the chance to shatter love,
or give it to the sky, above the trees,
which are greater than your steeples,
I see the corkscrew and want to drill it into my neck,
but I put it in my hand and see metal,
and I hear screaming in my mind, and someone trying
to drag my mind into my stomach,
so I let my hand lead,
I hear people saying words of prophecy,
but I chose the pavement,
and I when I chose the hawk, I chose the
bird.
and they say that will make a priest of me,
but I don't believe in any god but the ghost,
and I prefer church music stay in the rafters,
and shamanism stay in the cooler, with
the drinks, and on the phone,
with people who know about phones.
so I cannot stay.
