Saturday, March 21, 2009

vi.

... and I was raised in the far canyons
where the ferns grew thick
in the ash of the winter's fire,
           ...and I grew strong on the dark sea air
           that came seeping through the valleys
           and on the tang and the smoky rot of fall
                         ...and I grew wise--if wisdom I have
                         watching Orion rise over the eucalyptus
                         and the terracota tiles and lamp-posts

...and we learned lightness on the hillsides
between the manzanita and pine needles
and to dance with the scree, in the dust

             ...I came to know you and the dark
             in the crackling air, sharp and cold
             in the deep blue of the night

and the mourning dove,
moaned gently in the yard
in the last grey before dawn.

              ...and I went from there, and came to grief
              in the thick snow that drove me underground
              and I haunted the days until spring
              came screaming from under the drifts
              summer heat tempered its wildness
              into lushness, green on the fields
              and I rode between the hills
              in the sweet and heavy air
              --the days fell brightly into night

I came to know death.

       there was another place
       --shadows in the undergrowth
       and mold below the eaves,

the summer rose, thinning
into fall's jagged spiraling
and the winter was brittle

     and in the shards of the year
     I awoke, and came to myself
     a corpse--

my soul, my brother--I left it
behind me
in trust to the dove and the canyon

they were far--who could hold me
back? I walked
beyond shadow
                sun on the snow
                cold and harsh
                and bright
it was a long plain
sharp frozen grass
rushing closer
           and shadow fled
           but there was darkness in me
           memory is shadow

once there was deep and sweet
sea and tang and smoke
     all gone

                  but I followed
   the shape of scent

...and I have come here
shuddering, huddling
in the lee of circumstance

         I am something
               a chilled and crusted thing
                                   a hollowed thing

  and I follow, still
             a shape 

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