Kali (i)

I wrote this some time ago-- back in July. 

And didn't post it, because I had horrified myself.

But, by now, I've managed to gain a little distance from it. Or maybe I've just gotten accustomed to the damn thing. 

In any event-- I'm Methodist, and we don't get any slack on sins of omission. So, I'm going to post it now.

Enjoy. 

---

Kali (i)

What ever I am- I am.
the Lord God made me,
and Dear Mother Earth shaped me.
-- fed my strong, slim limbs
my round bottom and narrow hips
from which the thing is breeching
there from the strong, lush center-
     the hole there is no stopping.

I who am only my body, just my body
        will use all my body
        pivot on the shadow
-knees plant, thighs spread
-eyes front, back straight,
                    shoulders square-
tense, and spin.
   -around the dark center-
  everything into one
                    tight
          circle, arm rising
                hand flat, straight
                                          twisting
      everything I am, everything you made me
held high, aloft on you
  pierced to the center-

I who cannot rise will become a circle
     like you- but moving- always, inevitably
 who cannot shout will laugh then
       will slap your face and follow you down
cackling
   will hold you tight inside me
 and tear you gently with my teeth
           -not sharp, but we have time.

Oh struggle oh Mother and Creator
      thrash. No weeping, no shuddering
  no stroking of my hair will stop me-
I am not an animal-

 your pleas are of men
for men- but such is denied me-

 I am Hunger, hunger- the
hunger that knows itself
  who you gave to know names
and that a name is denied me-
   -so I name myself Nameless.

 I am hunger, Hunger-
the hunger there is no filling,
the rising standing darkness
   the fire trapped in every woodpile
           tree trunk.

I am the ground meat
 and the ash of children and
the dust of cities that
        made rich the farmland-
  I am all these things
        and I am nothing
     and unfillable.
I will leave you raw
      eternally. I will be
 tearing your new flesh- but not
eating- no,
       I will make of you a waste and
 a ruin and a glistening pile-
You who ravaged me, unknowing
scoured me with my first breath-
  I am come your ravager.

I will not rise who cannot rise-
 we will weep together
 we can weep together, I will
 give you not even your sorrow-
weep as I lay you waste-
    will hold you tight, will stop you!
No more souls to shatter and entrap, no
more shackled slaves and servants
     I am the knowing darkness who
from your depths
    will swallow them-
swallowed and in me
you will go from the sight of men.